HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
