Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
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I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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