Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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