We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
