I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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