so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
