it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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