In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
