It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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