i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize