this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
