Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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