she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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