apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
