dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize