The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
