Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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