they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
