I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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