Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize