Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
