Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I've blown a few things in my day
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize