I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
