im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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