Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
