Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
