OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So much rum. So many feels.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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