You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
