I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
