Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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