I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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