she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
