im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
