So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I sprained my soul last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
