i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
