Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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