on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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