did you get engaged???
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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