this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Boobs speak an international language.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
