There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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