I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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