so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
