hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am naked and annoyed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
