Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
