i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My pussy is not your playground.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
