how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
