I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
false alarm. still invincible.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize