Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my phone needs a breathalizer
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
