i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
