he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
