Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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