I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
