i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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