Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
