Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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