@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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