Operation Purity has been aborted
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize