No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
