i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize